Black Diamond Self-Talk

Sunday, November 15, 2009

MLM lessons

MLM lessons learned the hard way. First-hand, hard-nosed and stubborn, we let our emotions rule our decision-making, instead of our head. Short-cuts offered for free.

Most of us involved in Network or Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM) got swept up in the emotion-invoking hype of the presentation. We became excited and explored the possibilities of a dream lifestyle. We reacquainted ourselves with our inner child, again. Hopeful and enthusiastic, we followed the instructions of those leading us. The people that invited us to the presentation showed us that they were following in the footsteps of those who had come before them and had been successful. It worked for them, so, if we duplicate the process they used, that promise stokes the fire of the excitement that we too can be successful.

But is hasn't exactly worked out that way. Our dream is still there, but it remains elusive, and somehow out of reach of any reasonable tomorrow.

We think. "What is wrong with me"? They are not really any different than me. Why have I not had the success they have had? Why do they tell me that my dream isn't big enough?

Maybe the problem isn't with me after all?

Is the problem with them? Maybe, they are good at presenting and instructing us on their system, but they don't really understand how it really works? They know the steps. Like any song or rhyme we like, we learn it and are able to act like parrots, repeating it endlessly, over and over again.

But we didn't learn why. Maybe, somewhere in between all of the hype, facts and figures, there was the answer? No one was there to point it out to us.

Whose fault is that? We took ownership when we thought it was something that was wrong with us. Is it just easier to think that there is something wrong with us, that cannot be fixed and is beyond our control, so it is then okay?

If the problem is with them, then we don't have ownership of it either.

The problem is that we need to take ownership. It's not our fault. We are perfect, just the way we are.

We need to ask why, again. We need to find the person who can answer the question. We need to stop accepting that the situation is out of our control, and take action.

We get nothing for nothing. We have to invest whatever resources we have at our disposal.

Two assets we all have, that are priceless. They have a value that is beyond any measure. Our time and our thoughts are our most valuable assets. We need to take back control.

After having struggled for many years in the promise of others' direction and control, I became involved with a group of people who are not only genuinely interested in pursuing this idea of personal control and accountability, but they are actively helping others do the same.

If you are interested in learning more about this group, please don't hesitate to contact me, or, visit my web site, and explore the links.

Your servant,

Tony Koker

"Success in 10 Steps" can be found on our web site:

MLM mistakes

Are mistakes bad? Are mistakes equivalent to failures? Certainly success will not be realized if all we experience is failures. If we are afraid of making mistakes, or having failures, and we don't act, then that too will prevent us from achieving success. Can we do it alone? Or, do we need help? If we share the thoughts, ideas and experiences of others, especially share with those who have achieved some greater level of success than we have, and, they are willing to explain why and show us how, then together we can all improve.

MLM mistakes are especially heart-felt, since we've rekindled our desires and excitement for a better lifestyle. We don't want to make mistakes and ruin our chance.

Maybe, deep down inside, somewhere, we feel we don't really deserve success. Do we inadvertently find important things to do, like organizing that stack of old junk-mail, or email in box, or just one more text message, instead of focusing on the tasks we should be doing, but that somehow scare us?

Are we letting our emotions do the driving, instead of our thoughts? Shouldn't we be thinking things through, at least a little bit, and forming a plan of action, first? Our task would then be clear. We just need to work the next step in our plan.

Do emotions still get in our way? Yes they do. How do we feel? Why do we feel this way? What is causing us to have these emotions? Was it something we just heard on TV? Did someone just cut us off on the road? Are we trying to get too much done, in too short a period of time?

Olympic champions practice for hours and hours every day. Do you think they practice a mistake they've made? Or, do they find a way to slowly, carefully and progressive make corrections and adjust?

We all have only 24 hours in a day. And, in the day we have, only so many moments to make decisions, and takes those steps of action. The more deliberate and focused we are, the more sure-footed we will be.

But, we cannot do it alone. We will imitate a dog, chasing it's tail. We need an outside anchor, friend and mentor. Better yet, a group of differing personalities, openly and honestly sharing with one another.

I am ecstatic that I have found such a group. We bare our soles, without being judged. We strive for self-discovery through mutual brain-storming sessions, seeking those subtle, yet awe-inspiring "AHA!" moments. We experience joy and laughter, tears, goosebumps and chills down our spines.

Please join us, so that together we can be even more.

Your faithful servant,

Tony Koker

Mentoring for Free link can be found on this site: http://

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Thoughts a second and negative emotions

How many thoughts a second do you think we have? When we are excited, perhaps we have hundreds of thoughts a second. When we are calm does it slow down to three or four? Do these thoughts contribute to a decision right now? Do we have to choose right now? Can we wait?

Black-and-white, and clear-cut, undeniable choices, or are some not so concrete, and more of a grey-area ilk?

How do we feel about all of that? Is this even separate from the process? Are not our feelings the seasoning that makes our thoughts less than black-and-white?

Are our most memorable thoughts and events those that are associated with the most intense emotions?

What about the more mundane, day-to-day challenge - are we deciding based upon positive feelings, and goal-oriented outcomes? How do we evaluate if this little, single thought, and decision is even pointed in the correct direction?

Did we sit down, previously, and make a to-do list? Did we anticipate all possible thoughts we would have today? Or, are we stuck in analysis paralysis?

If we use our emotions as a guide, can we wade through even the most thought-filled second and accept and reject the correct thoughts?

The positive emotions, if used in this way, can at least leverage our experience and favor better outcomes:

Desire, faith, love, sex, enthusiasm, romance, and hope (also, maybe, prosperity and gratitiude).

The negative emotions:

Fear, jealousy, hatred, revenge, greed, superstition, and anger (also maybe lack).

The negative emotions seem to help us avoid punishments or loss.

The positive emotions seem to reinforce rewards.

The negative emotions, should first be identified, then rejected, or, overpowered with some anchor we've built in our tool-belt, based on one or more positive emotions.

Your faithful servant.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Economic Recovery - Act NOW

Everyone, the world over, has been effected by the current economic conditions. Most people have scrambled for a good position. It's just like a unpredicted storm has hit. And, although we all have that in common, that's where it ends. Even the position we've established, or are attempting to establish is different. First we do a quick damage assessment. We all wonder why none (or few) of our boarded-up windows survived; even when we thought the storm was over, another wave of fury attacked - and no one is really sure it's over, even now.
Once we finished (maybe just our first of many) damage assessments, we then chose our next stance - do we hunker down for the next wave? Or, what? Are we so battle-weary? Not only are we attacked by news we intentionally hear, watch, or read, the attacks are also insidious - they sneak through commercials wrapped around everything from our coffee cups to our recreation; an unrelenting bombardment of snippets of sound, pictures, words and ideas. They are all trying to rent space in our head - slowly eroding any sense of control, we thought we had.
But, we don't have to abrogate our authority to them. We don't have to willingly submit to the beating; to give up the power, they're actually afraid of. We are not as weak as they'd like us to think we are. We're not perfect, by any means, but we're okay, just the way we are. We have to gain strength, not acquiesce and give it away. We have to build ourselves up, individually, and, as a team.
We have to build our own master-mind alliance; a team of like-minded thinkers and doers. Knowledge of this is just the first step. Knowledge is NOT power, but the action, put into play, through the use of that knowledge - THAT is where the power is!
We cannot hunker down, any longer. We have to stand up. We have to stand together, shoulder to shoulder, hands joined together. We need to silence the lies. We need to turn down the noise level. We have to take action: 30-day Mental-Cleanse link sent upon request.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Pique through freedom illustration and picture-words

A picture is worth a thousands words. Most of us have heard that before. An interesting take on this concept, however, is that it doesn't necessarily take a thousand words to describe a picture.
Contained within the many wonders in this world of ours are the seasons. We all can relate to the weather, and, ultimately derive it from the current season, for the most part. Living in New England, however, we have become accustomed to frequent, perhaps even non-seasonal weather changes. This year we seemed to suffer from a perpetual cool and rainy spring. Not cold, but not really warm either. A darkness that seems to evoke gloom and hunkering down is present. Sounds, of rain drops in a pitter-pat in puddles, of splashing foot-steps, as people want on their way, of cars seemingly surfing on stream-like waterways, with their wheel-splash glide and then of cascading waves of whoosh and crash of foaming walls of water all permit us to hear the effects of the rain, we also feel and see. A natural cleansing cycle, where dirt and grime are actually washed away. An chance in contrast without equal to observe the brightness inside. The light of our inner self, keeping us on course and cheerful. Casting off the gloom, we can also embrace this as a refreshing change; a chance to enjoy the shower (To join our Master Mind and experience a life-changing process, start your own 30-Day Cleanse. You need it more than you need oxygen. The only cost is your commitment to yourself. You’ll get a download of the unabridged “Think and Grow Rich”. To get started, first download your free copy of Michael Dlouhy’s “Success In Ten Steps” by clicking HERE. I will send you the link to get started with your mental cleanse.).
This picture-painting, with words, is one way we can present the freedom opportunity that network marketing represents to those we meet and interact with; welcoming them to join us in our success journey, ever growing our numbers, and spreading all the positive emotions, leading us to accomplish.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A note to anyone who's considered MLM ...

I've been doing MLM for about 25 years, but it had never become more than a resource sink, until recently. It's very easy to spend your money on tools, or leads or products, or to spend countless hours (really your MOST VALUABLE ASSET) and go nowhere.
It certainly is NOT get rich quick, even for the super stars, who tend to have bursts, then lulls of growth. It is, certainly, about hard work, and a good (healthy) work ethic.
I think the secret is NOT about companies OR products, but about PEOPLE.
Building a spider-web of real contacts is the key, and, the current explosion in social networking, and how traditional marketers are trying to target it is just one piece of evidence.
Having part of your spider-web contain a mastermind mentoring group, where you can balance your primary personality against others, complimenting your effectiveness is crucial.
Download Michael Dlouhy's (my mentor and very successful MLM'er) FREE ebook, that discusses MLM in general from here, and the 10 hours of additional training that is made available for FREE (audio, live phone calls, eBooks, too), I can provide (all free, no strings at all), if you're interested.
This is really free, no spam, no hidden agenda, no companies or products, just heart-felt mentoring.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Specialized Knowledge

Re-reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich", "Chapter 5 - Specialized Knowledge (personal experiences or observations)" puts a floodlight on an area in my recent personal development, allowing me to see with great clarity and focus a major course correction that was needed in my life. I am a practising Computer Systems Engineer. So, clearly, having a specialized knowledge of technology is required. And, although I have had a reasonably successful journey, somewhere along the way I succumbed to a narrow focus on the knowledge and lost sight of the bigger picture. I had allowed my mind to become distracted and stimulated physically (stimulants, yes, like coffee and alcohol) and through events, rather than the ideas that set me on the path in the first place. I had stopped dreaming. I had stopped focusing on the goal. I stopped to savour the accomplishment, but forgot it was supposed to be just one more piece in the puzzle. I had unwittingly traded a position, part of a building master mind group, and instead had become swallowed up as someone else's staff employee.
With wide open eyes (mindful thoughts, renewed desire, faith and a resurrected auto-suggestion habit-building), I am moving again on a path with even greater goals. I have found that we each have our own abilities, strengths and weaknesses. I'm piecing the puzzle together again, finding additional sources for specialized knowledge for which I lack, staying mindful that together we will be rebuilt. We will accomplish goals we have yet to even conceive. The clouds are evaporating from the sky, the sun is shining bright and our convoy is picking up speed.

With Enthusiasm and Gratitude


Since I was very young, I recall visualizing thoughts being planted, like seeds thrown over a wall to the other side. To complete the picture, however, I also experienced thoughts being returned, more like a tennis ball, over a net. Unlike tennis, however, the balls sent over the net (to the subconscious), don't come back, for a time, but seem to allow many more to be sent over, before a new creation is returned. It's not clear that these pictures were entirely about the subconscious, but may actually have been influenced by Infinite Intelligence as well. I also discovered that thoughts planted at night and first thing in the morning, somehow, had more significance. Similarly, those planted, at the end of focused activity, like work on Friday, may lie buried, until dug up, with effort, at the resumption of the activity, like work on Monday. Often my weekends were spent, free from cares, dedicated to anything but work; the rest and refreshment we all need, but rather than being balanced throughout, were binged and squandered.
As I evolved, I found myself desiring a better continuity, from the Friday burial, to the Monday rediscovery, and that forced me to become more of a workaholic, focused on the next thing, over-scheduled, overworked, and under-refreshed. Pride heralded "super man!", but the tangle was building, becoming a strangling weight. It then took greater effort to find ways to rest and refresh.
At each different stage, I found myself planting specific thoughts, but, in retrospect, find that I neglected the weeding. My garden became overgrown, and an under-brush of tangled wannabe trees strangled by all manner of undesirable growth.
I ended up in a mode of auto-pilot; doing what had to be done, rationalizing detours of flight as needed breaks.
Then a wake up call. I slid my car, on black (clear roadway) ice, into a telephone pole. Thankfully I was the only one in the car. I awoke to find myself in the hospital, for the next 30 days, and then, for 7 more months, at home, recovering. This forced me to spend time with myself, like I had never found the time to do before. I began a self-guided mental-cleanse then, but the overgrowth was too deep and tangled. I found myself back on the wheel once more.
Another wake up call. Slowly being strangled by an out of control addiction, headed for certain death, I was again shaken awake. This time, with outside help and guidance, I slowly began actually clearing the unwanted growths in my garden. Calling out to the Infinite Intelligence, I was able to focus on those things I am grateful for in my life. This became my first daily auto-suggestion list. This list has also evolved, over time, but remains the foundation of the garden-clearing upon which the tallest, strongest and forever expanding new growth flourishes.


- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"!

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.