Getting Ready to Get Ready

Getting Ready to Get Ready

      One of the personalities we discuss in our thrice weekly calls is called Green. Although we all exhibit traits from all personality colors, we have a primary or root color. I am a green, primarily. This has been great for me as an engineer and for making plans, but it can be a handicap for working with people. I believe, however, that by reviewing my habit when I have successfully turned these plans into successful execution, I reveal a method for getting out of a mode of getting ready to get ready.

      I plan. I do this well. I can anticipate all of the possible challenges and threats and devise countermeasures to overcome or avoid them. This is often the place where I get stuck. So, I have to move on and decide that the blueprint is sufficiently robust and just move on.

      When I envision the outcome, truly see it in my mind, I create a point of focus. The more vivid the picture, the more intense I can believe in it's realization. I picture the result in many of its stages and the initial framework is built upon to finally reveal the finished product. Layer upon layer of progress is illustrated in my mental motion picture.

      Now I must jump. I need to take action. All of the well worn habits of preparing need to be done now: getting dressed properly, packing my bag, leaving the house, and must be done with mechanical, automatic process.

      I GO. I do it. I get into a zone of execution. I rest. I resume. I focus on the images of my mental motion picture, of the finished product, and just keep in action mode. Are you like me and get stuck getting ready to get ready? Or, have you progressed to action and success?

     

     

with gratitude and in service,

Tony Koker

P.S. With the help of others in our mastermind group, I hope to relate similar breakthroughs for the obstacles encountered by the other 3 personality types. And you can also join in this process with us: http://bit.ly/MLMskill

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Decision and Action

Decision and Action

      I decide all the time. Whenever I add a task to one of my lists, I've already decided it needed to be done. I've developed quite a talent for putting things down and keeping track of them.
      One of the mistakes I have made often involves my mental excitement and pleasure I get from mentally visualizing these tasks as complete. Don't get me wrong, on the way to getting these things done, this is an important step. The more realistic I can visualize the task as complete, the easier it is for me to do it. My mistake has often been the elation I feel having identified the task and writing it down, ends up being gratification enough, right now, to make me feel I've got things all planned and ready. At least for right now. The mistake I often make, after a little time has elapsed, is to revisit the list(s) and discover ways to make them even better. I find holes that need new solutions. Real or imagined, I second-guess myself until I plan myself to another point of elation, or not. Revisiting these decisions and plans is where I go astray. I have had to work on the habit of deciding now. Closing the plan, having decided the steps, and begin the doing. If there are minor corrections that need to be made, I just need to let go and adjust along the way.
      Through the reading of this book (Think and Grow Rich), and with the help of my mentors, I've found that I need to let go of this decision process of mine. I need to focus on just one more list - my to do list. I've actually renamed this to my ACTION list. My self-talk keeps me focused and motivated, and my ACTION list tells me exactly what I need to be doing, and deciding to change the list, is NOT on the list.
      I am continually grateful for the participation and support of this system (here and here) - the people who mastermind and fellowship each other in peace today and towards greater joy tomorrow.
with gratitude and in service,
Tony Koker
Image credit: CanStockPhoto.com

Ain't Nothing Like a Hound Dog!

Ain't Nothing Like a Hound Dog!

     
"Ain't nothing like a hound dog, crying all the time." Famous lyrics, but they remind me of a story I've heard told.
     
Picture, if you will, a raw wood house, grayed by the weather. A larger farmer's porch in front, with steps up, small columns, a railing and a roof overhead for rain cover.
     
Found on the porch, away from the stairs in the front and doorway to the house is found a wooden rocking chair. Next to the chair is found a beat up old metal container of some sort. The top is hinged and can be opened when needed. Inside this box can be found all manner of material for idle time busy work. Perhaps a chunk of wood being carved into various shapes will be found.
     
To the side of the chair on the porch, when the owner is in the chair, can be found his faithful companion, his basset hound, or hound dog, for short.
     
While sitting in the chair, rocking slowly forward and back, whittling away on this new sculpture, the occupant of the chair is engaged with a passerby. On the way to or from, they engage in banter about people, events, things and ideas. Whatever seems to be the most pressing topic for discussion of the moment.
     
Invariably the discussion leads to complaints of frustration encountered by either or both of them. Likely the issues are out of the control of either of them. But as misery often enjoys the company of its kin, they both can be found to echo the unpleasantness with eager enthusiasm. An observation might include that one actually seems to try to outdo the misery of the other.
     
It too almost seems as though they moan in sympathy of each other.
     
Each time they relate such a condition, the dog, too, can be heard to howl almost right on queue. First one, then the other, and finally the third, like a symphony of low tone instruments, cascading a symphony of emotional expression.
     
Not as familiar with the animal as the owner, the passerby asks about what the dog has to complain about.
     
Not skipping a beat in his rocking or handiwork the owner presents an explanation thusly. The dog had come to rest upon a nail that is sticking up from the floor of the porch. It is pressing sufficiently against his hyde that discomfort or even pain is being felt. But, it is not significant enough that the animal will gather together the energy necessary to get up and move to another spot. It just chooses to complain to the universe, another note in the chorus of three.
     
Are you stuck in the chorus, too? Have you examined why you remain, yet are not happy nor fulfilled? Discover how to break free together, with us here.
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I'm Not Afraid - I'm Fearless

I'm Not Afraid - I'm Fearless

      Yeah, I'm fearless, all right. Is that someone staring into a window at night as I pass by it? My heart begins to really race. I pause for a second to gather the courage to take a step back and look again. But, no. It's just my reflection in the glass. Heart pounding fear. Okay. No. I'm not experiencing that all the time. But why haven't I decided and taken action yet?
      Sometimes life seems like we're either on the platform, observing, or in the fast moving train blurring by. Are you driving, or being driven by fear, anxiety or even a sense of warning or other cause for delay. Those butterflies in my stomach always seem to go away when I just simply change my thoughts to something else. Hey, there's a shiny object over there!
      Having dreams and goals is the first step. These are what I need to repeatedly remind myself for continual focus through self-talk.
      Taking action is step two. The decision has already been made. Take a quick look both ways, and just cross the street already.
      Dreams and goals, without action, are only wishes.
with gratitude and in service,
Tony Koker
Image credit: CanStockPhoto.com

Decision

      Whenever I read one of these chapters, I take notes of ideas and concepts I takeaway as pertinent of the ideas presented. The following is my list from this chapter:

• Lack of decision causes failure.
• Procrastination is the opposite of decision.
• Reach decisions promptly and change them slowly.
• Harmony with your desires (which are derived from your values - I added this last part, myself).
• Listen rather than talk.
• Show the world, don't tell it. Act.
• Being all in. "Freedom or death on a decision".
• Mastermind. "I tell you further, that if two of you agree upon the earth concerning anything for which you ask, it will come to you from My Father, who is in Heaven.”
• Courage.

      That last one always reminds me of the Serenity Prayer:

      Lord, Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change,
      Grant me the Courage to Change the Things I Can, and
      Grant me the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

      One of the things us greens (self-contained, indirect, primary personality) are good at, is learning ideas and concepts and embracing them from the perspective presented. I can read every word, collect and organize, then summarize and deduce. But, at least for me, I fail to then take the ideas and concepts from my mind and get it into my heart. When I do this, I don't need my outline or list, anymore. My heart is where my desires reside. It has the faith that the steps I take today are part of the staircase up, even if I cannot see the whole staircase. My heart has the belief that sees past temporary obstacles.

      I decide to win. I decide that the best way for me to obtain my desire of helping other people, of being of service to my fellow humans, of breathing when the pressure and oxygen is lost, is to put my mask on first.

      I decide to take back ownership of my life. Slowly, over time, pieces have been given away. They weren't forcibly taken. They were subtly, and perhaps deceptively coerced away, and I let it happen. It didn't seem threatening at the time. It was only a small chip from the large block. But many, many of these have occurred. I cannot simply stand up and declare that they are again mine. I have to bargain and work to maneuver to take them back, one piece at a time. They weren't given away all at once, but over time, and I know they will have to be won back the same way.

      I decide that the past is history. Aside from lessons learned, it does not restrain me. The future starts now. I decide to be fully engaged in the experience of today, right now.

      I decide that the future is molded by me. Only my hand is on the rudder of my boat. I decide to face the waves and the wind, to find the path forward.

      I decide to periodically review my values. My values build my desires. My desires provide harmony for my decisions. Today, I decide to continue to ACT upon these desire-based decisions. I have embraced today - listened with my ears and other senses and capabilities of mind - and now demonstrate this by taking focused actions, avoiding distraction along the way.

      I decide to listen to my heart. My heart provides the drive to silence the fears. My heart provides the energy and enthusiasm to continue on, even in the presence of un-silenced fear, discomfort, or even pain. My heart has the faith that knows the reward is worth it.

with gratitude and in service,

Tony Koker

Image credit: CanStockPhoto.com

Knowledge, Music and Action

Specialized Knowledge

      I think this is sometimes called inside information. The tips, tricks, short cuts, details and secrets that people know, but may not share because of the power of the knowledge. The not sharing part is part of human nature, but is based in fear. You may have to tag or label your fear to embrace what it is for you, if this is still a big challenge for you, but for me it was fear of lack. I was afraid that if I shared the knowledge, I was somehow giving away something. That somehow my power or control was being lost. But I've come to understand that sharing information doesn't make us weaker, it helps us build strong trusting teams, who work together to raise the tide. When the tide rises, all ships rise together.

      I am confident in the knowledge that my knowledge is abundant. I have more than I need. The store house is bursting at the seams, and the doors need to remain swung fully wide open.

      I am also still needy. I am hungry and thirsty for more. I certainly don't know everything, and, even those things I think I get, often I find other perspectives or more clarity only over time and interaction.

      Reading books like The Slight Edge, Think and Grow Rich, and How to Win Friends and Influence People are certainly paths, when studied, that lead to deeper understanding and needed specialized knowledge. But, nothing compares to collaboration and mastermind. And, even with all of these resources at our disposal, none of it will matter without a crucial final ingredient.

      Action. At some point, based upon our desires, we have to set goals and start moving. We have to have the faith to proceed even when we do not have all of the evidence. Knowing what the music is, what it sounds like, how it is composed, and even how it is performed is all useless, unless it is actually performed. Do not let the show conclude and find you didn't play your masterpiece.

with gratitude and in service,

Tony Koker

Image Credit: CanStockPhoto.com

Guest Author - How to Outwit the 6 Ghosts of Fear

How to Outwit the 6 Ghosts of Fear

Fear is false evidence appearing real.

In the last chapter we read on the sixth sense, I wrote:

Ultimately, mastering all these principles and allowing the sixth sense to lead us to our utmost desire in life is a spiritual journey as a life being led in this manner is sure to succeed (The Sixth Sense).

And isn't it interesting that the very last chapter Hill focuses on is the ghosts in our mind - the fears we have that are not real.

We perceive them as real though, don't we?

We have come full circle in this book now to the idea that thoughts are things, the next chapter we will be studying.

So these fears are thoughts which we should not focus on.

If we focus on our fears, then we are paralyzed by them.

I am reminded by my friend that we are spiritual beings going through a human experience, just as God came down as man to experience the human existence in life.

Last week I went to visit my mom's only sister, a nun, who is 87 years strong. She's been serving God ever since I can remember meeting her for the first time when I was 6 years old.

She is of the Schools Sisters of Notre Dame order and so my mom, brother and I went to Wilton Connecticut and stayed overnight in the retirement home for these nuns.

During a conversation we were having I was amazed to hear my Aunt Leonie say "well it's all in your mind."

I looked at her saying, “You know Aunt Leonie, and you’re so right with this because all our thoughts are things.”

In kidding with her I asked her if she read Think and Grow Rich to which she answered no. "But," she said, "There’s a wisdom that comes with prayer that certainly opens your mind." "Look around you, the world is full of tell tale signs that creation is full of abundance, full of God's grace. God's work is everywhere. We are the arms and legs of Him who created us and we continue His works. It started with His thought in His Universe. And His thought carries on through us.

As we walked down the corridors, the walls had paintings full of inspiration about creation, the saints, signs and paintings, etc reminding us of the Creator in our midst.

As we followed our aunt, we stopped to meet her sister friends along the way. Some were painting, some were playing music, some were reading, some were writing stories and poetry, some were using the computer, some were having meetings, some were praying, some were visiting with others, some were at the movies..., you get the picture here. All God's work continues to manifest itself all the time.

So as we were strolling through this majestic home full of retired nuns, I realized just how grand God is. My aunt introduced us to a nun who was 107 years strong!

My aunt led the conversation next to speak about what keeps these ladies going strong. We have no fears she said. We trust in His Word. You must live life fearlessly and intentionally if it's going to be full.

I felt like a reporter asking questions, but I could see she was pleased to share her wisdom.

"Ok Auntie Leonie", I questioned, "so how do you get over fears?"

"Simple”, she said, always seek the will of God and you'll find the strength within you." "Again", she replied, “it's all in your mind and get's to your heart and soul, where it penetrates and you can find the answers to your questions for even the most difficult of times."

Now she doesn't explain quite like Hill but I do know what she means.

So daily, the actions we take and do in persisting will take us to the top of that mountain before we know it. We'll reach the top to see clearly everything. Even the fears we have, we will realize that they are small compared to who we are as spiritual beings.

And that ogre called FEAR will appear so tiny that we can kick him off that mountain top and say goodbye to him at last.

Your fears are only as big as you allow them to become. The antidote for overcoming many of the fears we have is in taking actions. Just do it and as you keep doing it, you find that it was never real, just an ogre in your imagination. Learning this helps you to kill fears along the way.

I know for me in any situation that I may feel nervous, I had learned to laugh at my mistakes, to learn from my mistakes and overall, to find a way to make something happen for me through creative imagination.

It really is in doing and being in the now that I find my greatest strength to overcome my fears.

After all the human experience isn't supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be spiritual and divine and the divine is in our thoughts and heart, right where we find strength to overcome the impossible.

No matter the challenges in life, no matter what our circumstances, no matter what our fears, we work with them as we move up that mountain top.

And we'll look back in reflection one day, smiling to ourselves and realizing how very small our fears had become because we learned to control our own thoughts.

Much Love and appreciation,

Marsha Sortino

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Procrastination - Excuses File Containing Reasons And Scapegoats

Decision: The Mastery of Procrastination

      Okay. We made our organized plan. Now we have to execute it. But, decision plays a part in this.

      I have had many struggles with this one. Procrastination - this one is very insideous - it camouflages itself and hides in the shadows, pretending to be other things during my thought process on the way to a decision to act. Most of the decisions I make are automatic. I've purposefully, or even unconciously made a decision and implanted it internally. When I do slow down the chatter and focus on the act of the decision, only then can I again influence it. Some of the arguments my mind has thrown up as obstacles, when I haven't said my self-talk enough follow, but I've written counter-statements right afterwards, so I can keep my awareness high of these forks in the road in my thoughts.

      The Perfect Plan needs more time to simmer some more. I've learned to counter this with the thought that it's good enough, just start moving.

      The timing isn't right, another time would be better. NOW is better than NEVER!

      I don't feel well enough. Catch your breath, take steps to care for yourself as quickly as possible and get moving again.

      It's raining out. Wear a rain coat, or find an umbrella.

      It's too cold. Put on warmer clothes.

      It's too hot. Put on cooler clothes.

      I don't have control and have to wait for things to change in my favor. The conditions could get worse, so again, just start moving.

      I have to examine my motives for the decision. Am I using a positive emotion to support my thought process, or a negative one? This is a huge struggle for me. I have to address this multiple times, in my autosuggestion. It begins with "I am happy." Certainly your self-talk is for you, so you may find different words to use. "I am happy" seems to be high enough of a focus for me, since I tend towards frustration and feeling overwhelmed through sadness, depression and even anger. I cap off my autosuggestion with "Anger and Fear are useless. Love and Gratitude are everything". I don't put my self-talk on my list or plan, since it is already a habit. I perform this automatically.

      The bottom line, analysis has been done, I now just act. I decided when I focused on my foundational desires, built my plan and committed to being all in. Just act on the to-do list!

with gratitude and in service,

Tony, Lisa, Michael and Amanda Koker

Image credit: CanStockPhoto.com

The Six Ghosts of Fear

Image credit: CanStockPhoto.com

        Fear can motivate us. Fear is negative. Napoleon Hills grouped all fears into one of six categories: POVERTY, CRITICISM, ILL HEALTH, LOSS OF LOVE OF SOMEONE, OLD AGE, and the fear of DEATH. In the second part of the chapter he discusses SUSCEPTIBILITY TO NEGATIVE INFLUENCES. He also listed the negative emotions, in an earlier chapter (12): The emotion of FEAR, JEALOUSY, HATRED, REVENGE, GREED, SUPERSTITION, and ANGER. After reading all of this it is clear that these fears, negative influences and negative emotions all form vicious circles of chains that bind and bound us down, keeping us hostage, if we let them. We must use the power of the positive emotions: DESIRE, FAITH, LOVE, SEX, ENTHUSIASM, ROMANCE and HOPE and the other techniques and principles we have learned.

        Knowing that a speeding car is not likely going to be able to turn or swerve in time, we could flee.

        I've read or listened to someone that the responses we demonstrate to various fears are always either FREEZE, FIGHT or FLIGHT. What happens when we freeze in front of that oncoming car? We certainly wouldn't consider, or at least not for very long, the notion that we might fight with it, right? Hopefully our mind is able to analyze the situation, using ALL of our SIX senses, and correctly motivates us to run, jump or dodge in plenty of time to avoid disaster or injury.

        Nature or nurture? Are we born with certain fears? Certainly most, if not all, have been learned, rather than having been built into us.

        Are we in a trance? Are we so bombarded that our brain rarely has a thought any more, that hasn't been planted by a text message, email, song, jingle, image, or worse, something that combines many of these, like television or a movie into one shotgun blast of blockage and damage? Even books, where our imagination is used to paint the pictures, sites and sounds we see provide either positives or negatives. Usually we are presented with both, at the same time. Luckily we can control the mechanism to reinforce the positive and reject the negative. If too much of the negative is passed through without being rejected, the pathways get clogged with obstructions, rerouted, or broken entirely. We then have to work all that much harder to clear the obstructions, reroute again, or even build from scratch, all over again. The great part of this, our incredible brain is resilient. As long as there remains one single glimmer of spark in our thoughts that is derived from OUR desires, we CAN build the paths again, one by one. Each building on the others until we fashion again a massive super highway network, working in concert and alignment for OUR desires.

        Critical thinking is essential for us to discern what messages we let in, but we also have to have the confidence to know, that should things we didn't desire sneak into our brain, which they always seem to do, that we have the abilities to reinforce our desires.

        It is being confident, yet humble, without being arrogant. We all still make mistakes and are not yet perfect in that regard. Also, it is participating to help others, thereby finding inspiration to solutions for our own challenges. Our physical and virtual mastermind groups are fertile oceans of energy that provide insight and inspiration to all those involved. We are alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic and find ourselves at higher and higher levels of positive emotional, mental, spiritual and physical vibrations of energy. We can achieve and overcome anything. We can evolve the whole ocean by remaining the perfect self, just the way we are, growing, together and individually.

 

with gratitude and in service,

Tony, Lisa, Michael and Amanda Koker

Wait a minute, you can do that tomorrow, can't you?

The mastery of procrastination

Organized planning

I've heard it said many times, if you enjoy what you're doing, you'll never work a day in your life. As many, many, many people take a day and recognize some event, like TGIF, the weekend, or even a holiday, they are possibly giving up a little bit of their plan. I'm not saying that I don't coordinate my activities with others. I do make plans together, so we can accommodate each others schedules and desires. But I live my life like everyday is a special event. I weave all of the positive emotions throughout my day as much as I possibly can. And, the sweetest times are those spent helping others do the same, and, greatest yet, when theirs is much greater than mine. Oh what a lift it is to feel their joy!

But. I have to have a plan.

My Daily To-Do List = ordered list of have-to-do's (just for example):

1. self-talk,
2. write lesson plan,
3. self-talk,
4. call prospect

• .
• :
• - one habit-making or habit-breaking exercise.
• .
• :
• - eat (ok, those sounds I've been hearing should be quieted, I think)
• .
• :
• - sleep (or am I sleep-walking again? maybe I should have had food earlier than I did, so I'd have more non-adrenalin energy?)
• .
• :
• - breath (yeah, sometimes I actually have to think about this one - it helps me relax, when I take a couple of deep breaths)
• .
• :
• - etc

I try to "Manage yesterday's decisions daily". I'm "all in", so this is a quick process:

1. on track,
2. not-so-much

• Easy, #1. on track.

But, if I stop too long to evaluate the situation, I need to go back and assess my why.

Distractions - see habit-making / habit-breaking (ok, so this habit-making / habit-breaking list is wa-a-ay too long, already; I'll just have to settle for being perfect, just the way I am, and move on, now)

OK, life happens. You just have to "... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again ..." Everything happens for a reason. Next.

Multi-tasking - who are we kidding? I can only, really, do just one thing at a time. FOCUS!

If the radio station in MY mind is tuned to the "you suck" channel, _I_ have to recognize this NOW! _I_ have control over the ONLY dial. _I_ can switch it to the "you rock" channel. NOW!!

I have already layed-out the organized plan. There is no time to put anything off until later, or tomorrow. I am counting on me. People are counting on me. The world is counting on US.

My desires are DESIRES. They're not fanciful or unimportant wisps of thought. I already have them fulfilled, in my mind, and I WILL have them in my hand and the hands of those that I love.

in gratitude and service,
Tony Koker